I remember being younger and always seeing my mom or other moms cry at the simplest things. My mother would sit in front of a movie and cry when the two main characters fell in love. My mom would cry when I sang in church. My mom would cry when I told her "thank you". She would cry when I would learn something new. The fact of the matter is that my mom would cry over just about everything in my eyes.
I never understood why. When I would look at her and see her eyes full of tears I could never comprehend what I did to fill them. I would think to myself, "All I did was say thank you" or "All I did was cook dinner for her" or "all I did was say I was sorry, what's the big deal?"
As I am getting closer and closer to having my first daughter I am starting to understand. When I look around and see other children I see the possibility of what my daughter will be like. I see a child sharing and I think to myself "I hope my baby is like that", I see a toddler say "I love you" and I think "I hope my baby is like that", I see a kid pick his nose and I think "I hope my child doesn't do that". But at the end of the day I have all of these qualities floating around in my head of what I hope my daughter will turn out to be like. The real truth is that I can't even imagine what she will be like. There will be times where she is so "naughty" that I will want to lock her in a room. There will be times where she pushes my last button. There will be times where I just want to pull out all of my hair and look in the mirror to see if I am "going grey" yet. But, more often then not, there will be times where she exceeds all of my positive expectations. There will be times when she says, "mommy, I love you" or "mommy, thank you" or "mommy, can you kiss it better?" and my heart will melt and I will know that my daughter was a special gift from God that he graciously gave to me. And just like my mother, I will cry.
I don't have any children yet but as I experience my baby girl's growth through my first pregnancy I am already an emotional wreck. She started as just a tiny little embryo and 25 weeks later she has bones, organs, arms, legs, and even eyelashes. She has those tiny little toes and tiny fingers that I plan to hold and kiss. She even gets the hiccups. She loves meal time. She can kick so hard that you can see it through layers of blankets. She is not yet ready for this world but she will be because she will grow and time will slip through my fingers and I will cry. I cry when I see/ feel her move inside of me and I will cry when I witness her first breath. I will cry when she learns to crawl. I will cry when she giggles or smiles. I will cry when she utters her first word. I will cry when those crawls turn in to walking.
I will cry because there will be many moments (no matter how seemingly small) where she will manifest unto me that I am doing something right. Through all that she will do in life she will show me that my life has and will have purpose. She will be living proof that being a mother is a divine calling and I will cry. I will cry because every hair pulled from my head (both by me and probably by her too) will become worth it. I will cry because my little girl will show me a glimmer of Heaven presented in the flesh. I will cry because the bond between a child and mother is something that cannot be explained but can only be felt. You can feel it in every kind word, every smile, every nice gesture, every service, and every accomplishment your child makes. So you cry.
Mothers are capable of a love that cannot be described. It can only be explained as a love that comes straight from heaven. This is why mothers cry. This is why I will cry.
