I was once sitting in a Sacrament Meeting where one of the young women gave a talk on modesty. It was about the time we were just heading into summer and she clearly stated that she thought, "as we go in to summer women need a reminder on this lesson". It was two seconds in to the talk that I was appalled at the things she was saying; such as,"if you are sitting in church with too short of a skirt or too low of a shirt the Bishop is up on the stand being forced to look at you and you are tempting his thoughts". Now, I am sure her intentions were good but it made me wonder, "what are we teaching children, youth, and even ourselves about the importance of modesty"???
This question seemed to roll off my shoulder until today when I read Rebecca Amoore's article.
In this article she touches on her thoughts and feelings about modesty. She talks about how she feels that modesty should not be viewed as a tool to control men's thoughts or actions because that is demeaning towards women and their self worth. She feels that modesty should be viewed as a way to show that you respect the bodies that your Heavenly Father so graciously gave to you.
This article made me think about why I think it is important to dress modestly, what I have been taught, and what I know about dressing modestly. It is far too often that women (of all ages) are being told they must dress modestly so that they do not tempt men. That is like saying "don't go outside in a rain jacket because you might tempt the weather to rain". Women do not control the thoughts of men. Men control their own thoughts and how they choose to act on those thoughts. To say that the way women dress controls the way a man thinks is not only insulting to women but absolutely degrading to men. In this argument I truly feel bad for men and the way that society would paint them. Having the ability to control your thoughts and actually exercising self control are two completely different things and yet some would have you believe that they are one in the same. Men (and women) are completely capable of feeling, thinking, and acting with their own brains and to say otherwise is just ignorant. That being said, yes, women could dress themselves in a way that may be provocative and may tempt men but at the end of the day we all control our own thoughts and actions.
It would be nice in a perfect world to say how men and women should act as to not tempt each other but the world is not perfect, we are all human, we all make our own choices. The best thing we can do is control our own actions and our own thoughts. This may lead you to ask me, If I do not think modesty is important to help control the thoughts of others then why do I think it is important? To begin I would like to take us back to the time of Adam and Eve.
Adam and Eve were created by God and placed in the Garden of Eden. As the scriptures tell us they were told not to partake of the Fruit of a specific tree because if they did they would "surely die". Adam and Eve lived in the Garden and took guidance from our Heavenly Father. Lucifer was angry with the Father and had chosen to dedicate his days to tempting God's children to be led astray. He knew that Adam and Eve were told not to partake of the Fruit of the tree so what did he do? He tempted them to do just that, partake of the fruit. First he tempted Eve. He told her that if she wanted to have knowledge and become like God that she would have to partake of the fruit of the tree. In short, Eve partook and sought out Adam to have him partake as well. Adam partook of the fruit and Lucifer was pleased with himself. Next, God came to check on his children. The Lord called out for Adam saying "Where art thou". Adam said unto the Lord, "I heard thy voice in the Garden; because I was naked, I hid myself". God then spoke with Adam and Eve about what had happened. God knew that because of the choices Adam and Eve had made that they would need to be cast out of the Garden. The Lord then talked with them about what he expected out of them. Adam and Eve made covenants with the Lord and then he clothed them in preparation for their new life.
Genesis 3:21 says "Unto Adam also and to his wife did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them". They were then cast out of the Garden into the world that has become ours today. (This story can be found in the Bible. Genesis 3)
The detail of this story that I would like to emphasize is the part where he clothed them right before they were cast out of the Garden. Why? Why is it that they needed to be clothed? Why couldn't they go back to being naked? Was it because Satan made them ashamed of their bodies? Was it because the Lord was Angry with them? Was it because when they partook of the Fruit they realized being naked was bad? No. I do not believe that this was the case.
Here is where my opinion comes in to play. When we sin or do something wrong we feel guilt which could be attributed to feeling exposed in a way that we might want to hide. Adam and Eve did wrong and I am sure that they felt exposed and wanted to hide themselves. The difference in this story is that Adam and Eve were literally exposed (naked) and so they hid their literal nakedness from the Lord. When they hid they may have hid because of the feeling of guilt and fear translating into reason. They took the feeling of being exposed and guilty and used the excuse of literally being naked as a reason to hide. I feel as though we all do this.
When I do something wrong I feel guilty or exposed (I might even feel "naked"). I show these buried feelings through being grumpy or sad and I blame it on something as simple as "the dishes are dirty" when I know deep down what is really causing my distress. If I am to get any relief I have to reconcile with my Father in Heaven. I have to make a commitment to him and myself that I am going to be different and that I want to restore my relationship with him and do my best to follow him. I would like to think that in the story of Adam and Eve when the Lord gave them clothes it was symbolic of a new life. When we repent of our sins or when we are baptized we feel renewed, we feel almost as if we are starting a new life. I think the Lord clothed Adam and Eve to prepare them for a new world and a new life as to say here is your chance to start over. He understood that because of what they did they could not stay in the Garden of Eden.
In my opinion he clothed them as a symbol of new life, a symbol of starting over, a symbol of a new commitment. Not only would these clothes be a physical protection to them but they would serve as a constant reminder of how they have changed. To me this sounds similar to baptism and receiving the holy ghost. Although Jesus Christ had not yet come to earth to teach the world these principals yet God is consistent in his teaching so this was their way of "starting over" the best that they could until they received other gospel ordinances. The clothes would remind them about commitments they made to God as they began a new life (similar to the holy ghost). These clothes were a reminder to be better, a reminder to live the way God would want them to live, a reminder of the new commitments they had made with the Lord, a reminder of who they chose to serve.
So what does this have to do with modesty today?
God has given us bodies. These bodies are precious gifts that we should never take for granted. When we dress appropriately we are showing respect for this gift but we are also showing our commitment to serve God and submit to his will. When we dress inappropriately often times we are thinking with a carnal mind. We may be thinking thoughts such as, "I wonder if this will attract that boy?", "This will help me fit in", or "it's hot today so I think I will just wear short shorts and a tank top". But to what end? Are you willing to give up your spirituality just so you can "fit in", have a "significant other", or be what you think is "comfortable"? At the end of the day what matters most is our relationship with God. If you have to ask yourself if what you are wearing would be pleasing unto him or justify your reason for wearing it (even if it is just to yourself) then 9 out of 10 times it is not going to help you stay close to God and it probably isn't in accordance to what he would have you do.
This world does not need women (or men) who care about fitting in. We need more people who are willing to stand out and stand up for what is right. By dressing modestly you show a respect for yourself and a respect for God. When you choose to dress in modest attire it shows the world where your true commitment rests. We can show the Lord that we are following him and his plan for us through the way that we dress.
Proverbs 3:5-6 states,
"5 ¶Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
When we choose to dress inappropriately we are "leaning unto our own understanding". We are just human. We are not perfect and we do not know as much as we think we do sometimes. But as we take opportunities to dress modestly we are trusting in the Lord and acknowledging him. The Lord has a perfect vision and a perfect knowledge of how we, as his children, can be happy. As we do his will he will truly direct our paths. He will lead us down the path of true happiness. The carnal mind will slip away and temporal things will begin to be unimportant. As we look toward the eternities our faith and commitment to God is what really matters in this life. As we seek to submit to his will we will see many ways to show our devotion to him and many ways to show our appreciation for all that he has given to us. One of the best ways to start is by dressing in a way that we feel would be pleasing unto God. Let us be like Adam and Eve and dress in a way that shows who we are choosing to follow. Let us dress in a way to show our proud commitment to the Lord and his plan for us.
In conclusion I would like to steal the quote that Rebecca Amoore used in her blog. It states, modesty "is an outward display of an inward commitment."
I couldn't agree more.
If you would like to read Rebecca's article follow the link below. It is a worthwhile read and I appreciate the time she took to write it.
