One year older.... and wiser too?

Today is my 22nd birthday. As I get older I like to reflect back on how I have changed.

This is a picture of me when I turned 20 years old. It was my first semester of college. I was a confused freshman. I was coming to the end of a complex relationship. I was insecure. But most of all I was learning a lot about who I was and who I wanted to be.

 

 

It wasn't long after I took that picture that I found the man of my dreams. 6 months later Ben and I were married and the following January I turned 21.

 

This was the best year of my life so far. I have been challenged in ways that have brought me to my knees many times. I have been pushed to my "limits". I have learned, laughed, and loved more than I possibly could have imagined that I would. Over the last year Ben and I moved approximately 3 times. I have had 2 different jobs and even attended Cosmetology school for a while. Through all of my experiences I have seen the Lords hand in all that I do and where I end up. Every place that we have moved has been for our benefit. Every job and every minute I spent at school was for me to learn and to grow. I truly have felt Gods hand in my life over this last year. Ben and I spend a lot of time praying and trying to find our Father in Heaven's will for us. We have done our best to follow his will and we have seen real miracles in our life as we do so. One of the biggest blessings and miracles we have received over the last year was the blessing of getting pregnant. Today is not only my birthday but it marks the 20th week of my pregnancy. We were able to see an ultrasound of our little girl yesterday and she is completely healthy. Just another blessing from God.

As I laid in bed this morning I rolled over and thought to myself "I don't even care it's my birthday." At first I thought, "what a horrible attitude Jaimie, you do to care that it is your birthday". But something I realized is that it wasn't a bad attitude that made me think this. It was the fact that as I get older I realize every day is a gift. Every day brings something new for me and even though I get older on this day every year it doesn't make any other day less special. Today birthdays just feel like a day to remember the blessings I have received over the years and the blessings to come in the years to follow.

This coming year Ben and I will welcome our baby girl to the world. This is the biggest blessing I could ask for. As I blow out the candles on my cake my only wish will be that my baby girl will be healthy, strong, loving, generous, and love her Father in Heaven above anything else.

This year I cannot concentrate on myself. This year I feel too grateful for what God has blessed me with to feel as though I deserve more just because I am turning one year older. But I guess maybe that is what getting older is all about..... Learning to love God, learning to be grateful, learning to use everyday to serve him, learning that family is everything, and learning that through the Lord anything is possible.

Today I am grateful. Today I have grown. Today I am blessed. Today I am 22.



The Past

I find myself frequently reflecting on the past. As I do this I ask myself "Jaimie, why are you always thinking about the past?" For a while I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. Why couldn't I let go of things, people, places, situations, that had become "my history"? Shouldn't the past be "THE PAST"?

When I was really little my dad used to lay on my bed. I would rub his feet as he would tell me stories about his life. I remember thinking "My dad is the coolest person in the world. He has so many great stories and is such a great person. I hope one day I can be just like him."

Fast forward 17 years and here I am nearly 22 years old, married, and ready to have my first child in June. It is now that I am realizing I, like my dad, am building my story. The stories my father told me while I lay in bed at night were just small segments or chapters of his story.

As I flip back through the chapters of my life I see conflicts, heart breaks, strong friendships, trials, and many resolutions. It is because of these things that I am who I am today. I used to be ashamed of mistakes that I had made. I had times in my life where I would sit and cry because I didn't know what else to do. I had times of true deep despair in my heart, the kind that I could never be able to describe to anyone. There were times where I thought my heart had literally broken because it couldn't be just emotion that was hurting me that bad. I have also had times where I was so happy that I jumped for joy. I have had times throughout my life where I found passion and love for people and hobbies that gave me hope and helped me to see the good in the world. I had times where support from my family was the only support that I was given but it was strong enough to pull me out of the sinking holes that I got myself into. I have had times where happiness doesn't begin to describe how I felt.

Truth is my past, my "history" has made me who I am. I am no longer embarrassed of mistakes I have made or experiences I have had. I rejoice in the lessons I have learned. I constantly think about turning points in my life and how grateful I am for the people who have helped me stay strong. I am grateful for those people who have come into my life that have taught me lessons. I am grateful for those who have helped make me stronger. I am grateful for people who have helped me love deeper. I would not be where I am today without those people or those experiences. I will never forget where I have been, people who have made me better, and those who continue to help me strive to be better. I am forever grateful.

Who Am I?

I am Jaimie Robinson.

Recently, my husband and I had the opportunity to teach our Primary Children (Ages 6-7) the importance of names. We played an object game where we would show one of the children an object in a bag. They would be the only one to see it and they had to describe it to the rest of the class without using its name. For example, one child looked in the bag and saw a wooden star. He turned to the class and said "It has five points, it is yellow, and you find it on a Christmas tree". Almost immediately the children all raised their hands with excitement. They all knew it was a "star". We continued to play this game with seven different objects. All identified by their attributes.

After playing this game we realized that you can describe something and we can all identify its attributes. As the lesson went on I began to think "how would one describe me? how might someone identify Jaimie Robinson?"

If I were to describe myself I might start with my love for music. I have always had a deep connection with singing. I do not know if I am an amazing singer or even very good but I do know that it is something I love to do. When I sing I feel happy and closer to God.
Secondly, I love my family above anything else in the world. I cannot imagine life without them. They have been a huge influence in who I have become today.
Last, I love to see other people smile. I often find myself trying to comfort or take care of others because I cannot stand to see someone unhappy. This can be a taxing attribute as some might say I am a pushover or care too much. I will admit this can be true in some cases. But nonetheless it brings me so much joy to help others.

Others may describe me as someone who is obsessed with the color purple, possibly a little crazy and energetic, and mostly a happy person.

One day when someone hears the name Jaimie Robinson I would like to be identified as a woman who loves Jesus Christ and God above anything else. I want to be full of service. I want to do unto others as Jesus would have me do. I want to have the light of Christ shine through my eyes and reflect in my countenance. Nothing matters to me more than to please my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ. I have experienced many things in my life so far and one thing I have learned is that when I am living in accordance to their will nothing can keep me from being truly happy. They have provided the way for me to experience true joy and as I do their will I know this to be true. I hope to continue to get closer to them and be more like them.